Raising a Writer: 5 pieces of more-or-less practical advice for teachers, parents, caregivers, and concerned poltergeists

Raising a writer is not for the faint of heart. People write about their experiences, process their traumas, drag their parents mercilessly through the mud. Come to think of it, you certainly should think twice before you decide to raise a writer.

That being said, if you feel comfortable with having your dirty laundry aired out one day in the not so distant future, immortalized on the printed page, well then, the following advice might be very helpful in the rearing of a future author.

Number one: children need to know that they can be a writer.

In theory of course we know that anybody can be an author, just like anybody can be a musician, marine biologist, president, or pet detective. We tell our kids that ‘anything is possible if you dream big.’ Except that often these sorts of one-day-dreams are just as far away and improbable as wanting to grow up to be a princess or a fire hydrant.

The reality is that statistically people are much more likely to enter the same professions as their parents, or professions that are somehow related or linked to what their parents did. Children learn to be adults from the adults directly in their life. Those are the avenues that seem genuinely possible for them, the paths where every step is solid and clear. So if you want to raise a child that can pursue their dreams in any artistic way, you need to actively show them real life people who are doing it.

  Authors can be hard to find in the wild which is a bit of a roadblock, we camouflage very well. Fortunately we can be dragged out with the promise of connecting with our readers or with free coffee in places that are accessible to many people.  Some places to find authors and harangue them with questions:

• An author storytime/book signing at your local bookstore or library. The calendars for these events can usually be found on your library or bookstore’s website.

• Book festivals! Most major cities have one or more, and authors can be found in absolute hives here, available and willing to answer questions, chat, and generally be very solid and real and impress your child with their corporeal form. 

• Watch interviews with authors talking about their process. The internet is just lousy with us all yammering about daily routines and how we get words out onto a page. Most of us can be reached on social media quite directly these days.

• Oral storytelling events. There are lots of different forms of storytelling. Different cultural centers will often host events with storytelling. 

• Organize inviting an author visit to your child’s school, most authors are always down for a little drive to come chat to a group of interested children. 

Number two: writing opportunities come in all shapes and sizes

There are so many different and valid ways to create different opportunities to write and tell stories in an everyday context. Modeling these activities yourself is also a great way to encourage them, not to mention fun! You will notice that the activities suggested below are varied and some may suit your child better than others. Is your child an introvert or an extrovert? What are their other interests? The fantastic thing about writing and storytelling is that it fits into so many activities that suit a variety of talents and personalities. 

-Making to-do lists

-Journaling, if this feels daunting try writing just one sentence per day

-Multimedia sketchbooking (find inspiration from other sketchbook keepers from Instagram or Pinterest) I love keeping a messy sketchbook personally, if you run out of words you can just start drawing. Start with a very tiny sketchbook and carry it around in a bag or pocket and pull it out when you’re waiting with your child somewhere. 

-Scrapbooking (is a great way to encourage writing because there are natural entry points for adding words. Who is in the photo? Where and when was it taken?)

-Mad libs 

-Board games

-Practicing telling anecdotes at mealtimes (the art of retelling an anecdote is one that must be finely honed and can only be developed with a live audience.) If you struggle to keep your kids at a table for a mealtime try lighting candles and putting a fancy table cloth on. The pomp and circumstance can be very alluring. 

- Attending a writing club or poetry slam

- Engage in reviewing. You can start reviewing anything that your kids really like on whatever platform anonymously: restaurants, local parks, books, things they collect. Reviewing is a purpose based form of writing with immediate impact, and feedback from a wider audience. If your child is someone who says “but what’s the point of this?” a lot, then putting out reviews is a great entry point for writing, their opinions and words are helping people make good choices out in the world. 

Number three: Privacy please.

Children should feel like they have the space to write without being judged or spied on. Creative writing especially is often the written form of playing out our most private thoughts, our wishes and fantasies, our biggest fears, and that is a very vulnerable thing. It may feel like anything your child writes is fair game to put on the fridge or snap a photo to send to your friends, but check in first with their boundaries. If they are ready to explore their feelings, do they feel like those thoughts are private and safe. Without the safety to put those thoughts out on paper, they may not feel they can write. 

Number four: It’s about the meat not the silverware.

 Allow children to write with an emphasis on expression and not on punctuation and grammar. Perfectionism in all things really does get in the way of good art. Writing especially can be very daunting because when we learn to write in school, all we learn are rules that really make absolutely no sense. It makes writing much less appealing and much more frightening. Writing is so much more than rules though, it’s the magic of turning your thoughts into a bunch of funny looking symbols, and then having whoever looks at them vividly hallucinate your voice. The hallucination is much more important than whether or not you used the semicolon correctly. So next time your child shows you a piece of their writing, focus more on the content of the thoughts, and less on nit picking every single error. 

Number five: create a healthy and constructive relationship with critique and feedback.

My fifth piece of advice is going to be the most difficult, and might seem on the surface in direct contrast to my fourth piece of advice. It’s important to create an environment where drafting and editing your work isn’t seen as failure but as an opportunity to explore. Editing and working with others is part of being a writer and for some people it’s the most difficult part of writing. You are your child’s first and best editor, but how do you create this relationship where you’re encouraging exploration without focusing on spelling mistakes and capitalizations?  

Tips for editing without being a dictator and giving your kid serious issues:

-Focus on the big ideas and the narrative flow instead of every detail

-Instead of telling a child something is wrong, ask questions. For example if your child only writes three sentences, what questions can you ask them about those sentences to get them to think deeper and elaborate? Or if your child writes a short story, think about that story and ask genuine questions about any plot holes that might be apparent. Ask questions about the characters and how certain elements can be deepened. 

You are your child’s first editor, and the relationship you want to create with them is one of trust, and curiosity that will encourage them to continue to explore, so that they go into the world not just writing out their thoughts, but feeling comfortable with critique, feedback, and the idea that it’s not a failure if you’re asked to make changes to your work.

This might seem like a lot of work to raise a writer who may one day end up writing all about the ways you might have embarrassed them, given them parental issues, commitment issues, complicated issues with food and romantic relationships. On the other hand, immortality sounds pretty sweet doesn’t it? Even if we might be written as a villains, as long as it’s well written, who are we to complain? 

Alessandra Requena was once described as the troll under a librarian’s desk. She is a author, teacher, and content creator based in Toronto, Canada. You can find her on your favourite social-media platform talking about books @readwithriver or cooking up a storm with her grandmother @nonna.elda.cooks.