Exploring Healthy Masculinity Through Kids Books: Breaking Stereotypes and Promoting Positive Role Models
Books are tools to help educators and caregivers have important conversations with kids about all sorts of topics. This collection of books shows boys, in particular, that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to speak up, and to be gentle and strong.
Unfortunately, young boys often feel less comfortable expressing their feelings as they grow up. Stigmas, stereotypes and gender norms all prevent young men from seeking out mental health support at the same rate as girls. They don't receive the same reinforcement to express themselves, and instead, feel like they should suppress their feelings and handle things alone. When this happens, they lose the vocabulary to label, identify and express what they are feeling.
"If a boy is experiencing signs of depression, like hopelessness or sadness, for example, he might respond to these feelings with anger. He may lash out in an aggressive way, and the adults in his life might not pick up on what is going on with his mental health in the same way they may be conditioned to be attuned to the needs of the young girls in their lives. This lack of familiarity with the nuances of adolescent male mental health can result in common signs of mental illness worsening or remaining untreated." (Mastroianni, 2024)
By exploring healthy masculinity in picture books, we can help break stereotypes and promote positive role models to help the next generation of young men. We can help them understand the value and importance of expressing themselves and prioritizing their mental health. Together, we can help them grow into empathetic, kind, and confident members of our community in hopes of a better future for all.
This collection of books showcases boys and men being vulnerable with others, working through their feelings and emotions, and defying harmful stereotypes and constructs. While research supports that kids learn best from books with human characters, we know that many books about trucks and animals, for example, are incredibly popular with the youngest age groups.
Intentionally seek out stories with positive messages for growing minds. It's easy to find books where sharks are portrayed as menaces, and every truck is "tough" and male. Instead, find books that include examples of prosocial behaviors, and deviations from typical gender stereotypes. You can find some of our favorite books for toddlers here. You can also find more recommendations to explore gender diversity in children’s literature here.
You can learn about and shop for more book recommendations about exploring healthy masculinity on our Bookshop page.
The Noise Inside Boys
Author/Illustrator: Pete Oswald | Publisher: Random House Studio
The Noise Inside Boys tells the story of a little brother who feels the urge to push away his feelings after his two brothers upset him. We witness how chaotic and out of control he feels until he starts to identify and ultimately, understand, his feelings. This book reminds all kids, and especially boys, that all feelings are okay, and we have to feel big things in order to name and understand them.
"Dear boys,
I'm not here to tell you what to feel, how to feel, or when to feel. Just feel.
Love, Dad"
Finding Fire
Author/Illustrator: Logan S. Kline | Publisher: Candlewick
This mostly wordless picture book is an absolute gem. It’s set in prehistoric times, and features a cave family who lose their fire due to heavy rainfall. As they all bicker about who can fix the problem, a scrappy young boy offers to go on an adventure alone to find more fire. He ultimately finds more than fire, he also finds friendship and newfound confidence. He showcases beautiful vulnerability, kindness, and heroism throughout the story, making it one we’d recommend again and again!
Step By Step
Author: Kathryn Boger | Illustrator: Hiroe Nakata | Publisher: Magination Press
Step by Step is written by a board certified child and adolescent clinical psychologist who has dedicated her life to helping children struggling with anxiety and OCD.
Sam is getting older, and every day there are new things for him to try, from a trip to a farm, to going to a new friend's house, to the first day of school. But Sam can't help but worry about all these new things--what if he doesn't like them? His mom helps him figure out what small steps he can take, little by little, so that he realizes he can handle it.
Includes a Note to Parents & Caregivers with more information about helping children face their fears.
Big Boys Cry
Author/Illustrator: Jonty Howley | Publisher: Random House Studio
Let boys cry! This picture book imagines a world in which boys are encouraged to express their full range of emotions.
Jonty Howley's gorgeous debut paints the world we wish existed for our boys, and offers a path there! This story is the truest interpretation of the notion that we should "let boys be boys": let them express the full range of their emotions, vulnerable parts and all!
Rajiv’s Starry Feelings
Author: Niall Moorjani | Illustrator: Nanette Regan | Publisher: Lantana Publishing
Rajiv has feelings for everything. He can feel confident. He can feel happy. He can feel silly. But today, he feels angry, and he doesn't know why. With the help of his father, he sets out on a journey to make sense of his feelings. It is a journey that will take him to a park, then up into the branches of a tree, and from there all the way to the stars . . .
Beautifully told and stunningly illustrated, this extraordinary story will help children everywhere explore the complex emotions we all feel but cannot always name.
Time for Bed, Old House
Author: Janet Costa Bates | Illustrator: A.G. Ford | Publisher: Candlewick
Intergenerational stories are some of our very favorite types of stories, and we love how this one portrays such a sweet and nurturing relationship between Isaac and his grandfather. Isaac is sleeping over at Grandpop’s for the first time and is both excited to, and nervous about being away from home. Grandpop senses this in him, so when it’s almost time for bed, he asks Isaac to help him put the house to bed - quietly turning off lights, pulling down the shades, and getting it ready for a restful night of sleep. This book shows how universal it is to feel anxious about something new - it always helps when someone you love is there to help you through it.
When Langston Dances
Author: Kaija Langley | Illustrator: Keith Mallett | Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Ever since Langston saw a dance company perform, all he wanted to do was dance - to learn how to do all the beautiful and technical things he saw. Sure, he likes basketball, too, but that is not where his heart is. This is such a joyful and affirming book that breaks traditional gender constructs and shows us a Black boy who loves dance, and has the support of his whole community. For more books featuring Black joy, visit our post here.
Fred Gets Dressed
Author/Illustrator: Peter Brown | Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
The boy loves to be naked. He romps around his house naked and wild and free. Until he romps into his parents' closet and is inspired to get dressed. First he tries on his dad's clothes, but they don't fit well. Then he tries on his mom's clothes, and wow! The boy looks great. He looks through his mom's jewelry and makeup and tries that on, too. When he's discovered by his mother and father, the whole family (including the dog!) get in on the fun, and they all get dressed together.
This charming and humorous story was inspired by bestselling and award-winning author Peter Brown's own childhood, and highlights nontraditional gender roles and self-expression. For more books about expression through clothing, visit our post here.
Boys Don't Fry
Author: Kimberly Lee | Illustrator: Charlene Chua | Publisher: Farrar, Strauss and Giroux
Jin wishes his family would ask him to help prepare the Lunar New Year feast. But boys, or Babas, never get asked―only Nyonyas, the girls.
As his aunties dice, slice, and chop, there’s nothing Jin wants more than to learn about the history of his family’s cooking and to lend them a helping hand. After all, no one else can tell the difference between ginger and galangal as well as he can! But his aunties shoo him away, claiming he’ll just get bored or be in the way. Luckily, Mamah steps in and asks Jin to help her prepare their special meal. Soon, Jin is squeezing, slicing, and stirring, too!
This loving picture book about a young Malaysian boy who defies gender expectations will make hearts warm and stomachs hungry. With beautifully vibrant illustrations of a traditional nyonya kitchen, Boys Don’t Fry is a heartfelt celebration of family, culture, and traditions―both old and new.
Rainbow Hands
Author: Mamta Nainy | Illustrator: Jo Loring-Fisher | Publisher: Lantana Publishing
The main character is empowered by the different colors he paints his nails. He has a feeling for every color of the rainbow and sometimes he is the rainbow (excerpt from post on teaching identity). This book is ultimately about the importance of being true to yourself.
No One Owns the Colors
Author: Gianna Davy | Illustrator: Brenda Rodriguez | Publisher: The Collective Book Studio
All colors are for everyone! Colors are not owned by any particular gender or culture. Color is simply part of the natural world; it is not something that can be right or wrong. This one encourages kids to embrace all of the colors that make them feel happy, and to appreciate every color on the spectrum (excerpt from post on gender diversity).
The Fairest in the Land
Author: Leslea Newman | Illustrator: Joshua Heinsz | Publisher: Harry N. Abrams
Boys can wear dresses and play princesses too. When best friends Anabelle and Benjamin both want to dress up as the bride, ballerina, and princess, will they find a way for them to both be the fairest in the land? Turns out that having two princesses means twice the fun! Overall this is a sweet story of friendship, play, and acceptance(excerpt from post on gender diversity).
Boys Dance
Author: John Robert Allman | Illustrator: Luciano Lozano | Publisher: Doubleday Books for Young Readers
Celebrate boys who love to dance! This book addresses the prejudice toward boys and ballet by depicting the hard work, dedication, intelligence, and skill it takes to be a dancer. The illustrations show a diverse cast of boy ballet dancers who pirouette, jeté, and plié to their heart’s content, practicing until they perfect the skill. This book shows that ballet is truly for everyone (excerpt from post on gender diversity).
Eyes That Speak to the Stars
Author: Joanna Ho | Illustrator: Dung Ho | Publisher: HarperCollins
This beautiful story is an ode to family and heritage. When a friend at school creates a hurtful drawing, the boy turns to his family for comfort. He realizes that his eyes are like the people who came before him in his family, and they hold light, wonder and splendor. He then recognizes that he is strong and powerful, someone who can make a positive difference in the world, and all thanks to his eyes that “rise to the skies and speak to the stars.”
Additional reading about boys for caregivers and educators:
Mastroianni, B., May 31, 2024, Addressing Boys' Mental Health, Charlie Health, and https://www.charliehealth.com/post/addressing-boys-mental-health.
